教你如何花式懟人，處處帶狠！

怎麼提高懟人技巧

一，閒魚躺得好好的，你非要給人家翻一番

The idle fish is lying well， you have to turn it over for others

二，我是一個很考慮別人感受的人，說話一般不帶刺，如果我哪次說話讓你不舒服了，你別多想，我就是故意的

I am a person who considers the feelings of others very much， and I usually don‘t have a thorn in my speech。 If I make you uncomfortable when I speak， don’t think too much， I did it on purpose。

三，你就是口井，橫豎都是二呀

You are a well， and you are both two。

四，現在的手機都這麼智慧了嗎，豬都可以拱字啦？

Are all mobile phones so smart now， and pigs can be arched？

五，你哪家學校畢業的啊？你討人厭的學位都修到博士後了

Which school did you graduate from？ Your annoying degree has been a postdoctoral degree

六，大蘿蔔坐飛機，你裝進口大蘋果呢？

Big radish flies， and you pack big imported apples？

七，脖子挺可愛就是裝了個豬腦袋

It‘s a lovely neck with a pig’s head

八，肺活量檢測員：你好大的口氣啊

Vital capacity tester： What a big tone you have

九，垃圾分揀阿姨：你是什麼垃圾？

Aunt garbage sorting： What kind of garbage are you？

十，網咖老闆：小夥子，你時間不多了

Internet cafe owner： Young man， you don‘t have much time

十一，看背影急煞千軍萬馬，轉過頭嚇退百萬雄師

Look at the back， and turn your head to scare off millions of heroes

十二，多去曬曬太陽哈，曬黑點就沒人說你白痴了

Get more sunshine， no one will call you an idiot if you get a tan。

十三，認識你之後，一種智力上的優越感，油然而生

After knowing you， an intellectual superiority arises spontaneously

十四，吃虧是福，我祝你，福如東海

It is a blessing to lose money。 I wish you happiness as the East China Sea

十五，不要低頭，怕你腦子裡的水會灑出來

Don’t bow your head， for fear that the water in your mind will spill out

十六，走過多少個窪窪也沒見過你這種洋芋！

I haven‘t seen this kind of potato since I walked through many depressions！

十七，我看你是屎殼郎打哈欠——口氣不小

I think you’re dung beetles yawning-with a big tone。

十八，我看你是癩蛤蟆趴腳面上——不咬人光噁心人

I think you are a toad lying on his feet-a disgusting person who doesn‘t bite people。

十九，別隻會說這幾句話，一看幼兒園都沒畢業吧！

Don’t just say these words。 You can‘t even graduate from kindergarten。

二十，就你這張嘴，遲早正義的光照在你臉上

With your mouth open， sooner or later justice will shine on your face

二十一，你個撮鳥潑賊，還敢應口

You are a bird thief， and you dare to answer your mouth

二十二，你這廝口邊奶腥未退，頭上胎髮猶存

Your fellow’s milk has not returned， and the fetal hair on his head still exists

二十三，哦！上帝啊！看看這個醜陋的土撥鼠吧！我真想用我的靴子踢爆他的屁股！

Oh！ Jesus Christ！ Look at this ugly groundhog！ I really want to kick his ass with my boots！

二十四，做人是該傲，但是給你臉，你得要吧

Being a man should be proud， but to give you a face， you have to ask for it

二十五，你是蜈蚣嗎？啥事都要插一腳

Are you a centipede？ You have to get involved in everything

二十六，你就是一個卡愣子

You are a card leng son

二十七，就你長個嘴一天叭叭的

You‘re the only one who’s been talking all day

二十八，沒文化可以學，長得醜可以整，你心眼壞真的沒法治

No culture to learn， ugly to be whole， you really have no rule of law

二十九，你的智商和喜馬拉雅山的氧氣一樣，稀薄

Your IQ is as thin as oxygen in the Himalayas

三十，看你那副正經樣，整得跟真能聽懂人話一樣

Look at your serious appearance， it‘s as good as being able to understand people’s words。

三十一，汝乃飯囊酒桶也

You are also a bucket of wine。

三十二，高朋已滿座 有請君登臺

Gao Peng is full。 Please invite you to the stage

三十三，不管你圈子多大，好好跟我說話

No matter how big your circle is， talk to me well

三十四，我走了，我對智障過敏

I‘m leaving。 I’m allergic to mental retardation